This came from one of my coaching sessions today…He came him and told me he is suffering from a broken heart.
We often confuse need with love. When we lose something or someone we need as opposed to love, it hurts. When a client comes to see me and tells me that their heart is hurting, that there is so much pain in their heart, I know they are confusing their heart with their emotions. And when we do that, it causes distress because we feel like something is really wrong since our ‘heart is hurting’. But the heart only experiences love and gratitude. So when we are experiencing pain, grief, anger, jealousy, loss or even the extreme highs of elation and infatuation, we are actually experiencing an emotion. We only experience emotions when we either see more positives than negatives or more negative than positives in a situation. The truth is that, just like the yin and yang symbol expresses so well, there is always an equal and opposite balance of both in every situation. If you support someone too much, they weaken. If you challenge someone a lot they get very strong. Both forces are necessary. If we have a tendency to stay within our comfort zone and cuddle ourselves too much, we experience great challenges in our life. If we follow our heart and take on the challenges necessary to fulfill it, we attract support… that’s the law of attraction. So, next time you face a situation and experience a lot of pain, take the time to find what is the benefit in what is happening. How are the circumstances actually helping you get what your heart truly desires?
I have a client who’s relationship is ending and he was really upset because he feels that he is ready for a committed relationship. His partner was not. Before she met him she had been in a 17 years long relationship. He sent ‘by mistake’ an email that was meant to me to her and because of it the relationship is ending. He was really distressed. He felt that he had made a big mistake. When I pointed to him that actually, since his heart is craving to be in a committed relationship and the one he was in was not going to satisfy that need, it was perfect. It was not a mistake. Sometimes we need to challenge ourselves to get what our heart wants. Out of love for ourselves and for others. If he really loves his girlfriend, he will understand that she needs to be true to her heart just like he needs to be true to his. If he comes from fear, than he is needy, he won’t want to let go because of the fear that he will never find someone else to love. But when we love and know that we are worthy of love, there is always love around us and inside of us. We experience love by loving others, not by waiting for others to give it to us….
Love and Light,
Dr. Lise